Denial Is Not Your Friend

Denial Is Not Your Friend

I will say with conviction, that denial is not your friend. It is a friend to no one. So why do so many people use it as a means of protection or escapism from the truth? How much is an unconscious decision based on fear of the truth? Certainly, it could be intentional. If it is conscious and intentional, the one denying the truth must be relying on a false sense of safety. Despite what they might think, they have not escaped consequences nor the eventual balancing of the scales. 

 

Direct Experience 

I have had direct experience with denial in a state of awareness. This led to the end of living my life in denial. It is an interesting but confusing journey to be sure. In retrospect, it is not surprising to say that dealing with denial was anything but easy. So how does one know they are in denial about one or several aspects of their life?  Good question right? 

You might wonder, can I be in denial and be aware? Even though it seems the two are like oil and water, the answer is yes. However, depending upon your perspective you might not yet see it that way.

So let’s begin with an open mind leaving judgement and fear behind to the best of your ability. In this way, what has been denied can be uncovered and discovered for what it is. Please do not fear the truth because the truth literally does set you free and from here healing can begin. Remember, denial is not your friend. 

 

Hidden in the Dark

Denial keeps every single thing you denied hidden in the dark. Meanwhile, what has been denied has not gone away like many think or hope. The heaviness of denial displaces the light that is our birth right. As time marches on, most people have forgotten what it feels like to live without denial. In addition, denied experiences may have occurred unconsciously as a method of seeking safety and are largely forgotten. The good news is that once you have an understanding of how denial feels and how it is playing an active role in your life, you can free yourself. 

Freedom from denial will reveal aspects of your authentic self, the very parts of you that make you unique in this world. No one can do you like you and that my friend is a gift meant to be embraced.  Whenever you believe you are not good enough and create a false persona, you have relinquished aspects of your authentic self to the shadow world of denial. 

 

What Does Living in Denial Feel Like

There is a heaviness accompanied with an unhappiness that may only come to light when you are quiet. Living in a state of denial shows up as depression, a feeling of being lost in a sea of dreams with no tether.  Clarity of mind is lost as the truth of who you are and what you have experienced lie nestled in the dark.

To emphasize that denial is not your friend, be aware that bad decisions come easily as your attention is drawn to the momentum of denial. Furthermore, guilt sounds convincing and together they create a great distance between you, the truth and your true power. Many people living in denial feel powerless which is a lie that sprouts when living in denial. The ability to manifest takes on the appearance of everything you do not want and very little of what you do want.   

 

Look At What You Have Manifested

If you take an honest look at what you have manifested, you will see clues about what you are denying in your life. Make sure to recognize where balance is and isn’t in your life. Most of you can feel the uncomfortable feeling like your skin is too tight or something is niggling at you for your attention. What has been denied is attempting liberation from the shadows. Denial builds upon itself gathering more energy with every decision to reject the truth. This gets very uncomfortable.

When truth is ignored in favor of adopting a belief in something that temporarily makes you feel better, denial is present. I am sharing an excerpt from my book You can set yourself free from the weight and burden of living in denial. My two online courses are also available to help you on your journey of ascension. The links are at the bottom of the page.  love Astara

 

 Chapter 7 excerpt 

“We can neither control nor transcend what we deny” Astara

Denial gains a foothold through our inability to accept our experiences and ourselves in whole or in part.  The denied aspects or parts of the self are hidden from ones current state of consciousness. These denied parts of the self are in the dark and constitute much of what is now commonly called the shadows or inner demons.

All aspects or parts of the self that are hidden in the dark are outside the light of God’s love. It is the love of Source, by whatever name you chose, that provides nourishment in the form of understanding, awareness, hope, joy, peace, inner strength and so on. The lack of light causes one to be blind and unaware of what messages they are vibrating out into the world.

Therefore, they are disconnected from the understandings that could free them from unhealthy patterns. Where there is emotional blockage there is denial and old judgments widening the gap of separation between Source and ourselves. The gap of separation sets us apart from our authentic self and from each other losing the sense of unity and oneness.

 

What is Happening

When someone says something is not happening that really is or something is happening that really isn’t, they do not have acceptance for what is happening. Either they cannot accept what is happening, were not ready for the experience in whole or in part and become overwhelmed. The experience is denied and sometimes forgotten. Judgments are then created to provide a false sense of control and knowledge.

 

How Does Denial Begin

Denial always begins with lack of acceptance. It begins as soon as we are old enough to believe we are not good enough and/or are having experiences that overwhelm us.

In my quest for truth I grew to eventually remember what seems to be my first entanglement with denial. Of course I did not know what it was then as I was very young. I was experiencing great fear and emotional pain at home, a place I would have preferred to feel safe. Being an extremely sensitive child I felt things deeply much to the annoyance of nearly everyone around me. One day it occurred to me that if I throw that feeling, thought, or memory into the back of my mind it doesn’t hurt anymore. Wow what a great discovery, or was it?

 

Denial: An Act of Survival

For me, denial was an act of survival that I embraced as a child because it appeared to bring some relief. As a child I felt no real safe place for expressing my love, my anger, fear, growing resentment and even hate for all the discord present at home. I entertained thoughts of how bad I was to have these feelings and punished myself further with ongoing personally debilitating inner dialogue.

With no skills or confidence to give myself permission to move the deep emotions of pain and confusion, I leaned into denial. I lost my way, one that would have brought me true peace and understanding. There was no acceptance coming to me from outer reality either. I had no fairy godmother in the form of a neighbor, grandparent, an aunt or anyone that would hear me out. No one in my life who would share some old wisdom to soothe my soul. I had to hold it and for me “the back of my mind” became the dumping ground for everything I was ill equipped to handle.

 

Getting Twisted up

Truth be told, all those feelings simply hid in the dark outside my awareness and outside God’s light. They were filling my emotional body, twisting my mind and diminishing my light. Denial is a dark and lonely road. I went from a bright beautiful child to a teenager using drugs to self medicate and as a means of escapism.

My confused ungrounded nature brought into my reality great suffering and injury from a motorcycle accident. This in turn, sent me whirling into the abyss of drug addiction, and 2 near death experiences due to “accidental overdose.” It was more like a feeble attempt to get help. Some would say the accident should have been enough to wake me up. In truth it did but only for a short while. I became overwhelmed once again when all the deep patterns of denial came into play.

 

End of Chapter Excerpt on Denial

Today

What we have is today; not yesterday nor tomorrow. Be that as it may, the journey back to the light was worth it. I know I looked like a hopeless case to many and heard as much from some. It was not easy to know there was not a soul who believed in me. Good thing I finally believed in myself and in a loving Creator. Learning that I was an integral part of the creative process gave me hope. Sometimes having no one but ourselves is a blessing but not always. 

On my journey of ascension, my rising vibration brought the right people into my life at the right time. Most of them passed through my life quickly because I was not meant to hold them in place. These wonderful healers did what they needed to do and moved on to help others. Everyone is worthy of a second chance. Great compassion and understanding are often born of difficult times. 

 

Are you Ready for Change ?

I have seen just how fast the illusive timekeeper treks on and I am pretty sure you have too. Everything bright and beautiful in life is calling for us to be the very best versions of ourselves.

Courage is rising so let it light the fire of passion within you.

Creativity is calling, beaconing each and every one of us to allow her to flow.

Love is kind and is so much more than the lyrics in a song or spoken word. Feel the vibration, allow love to assist you and uncover that which has been denied.

Denial is not your friend. Everyone who is in denial is missing out on the truth, gifts, talents as well as aspects of their own authentic self. The shadowy stuff we fear to look at may very well be lost treasures. In the shadows with all its pain there is beauty waiting to be revealed.

Love Astara

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