Conscious Communication
Communication is a big deal. People have conversations with others nearly every day but how many people are really paying attention to the way they communicate with one another. Tone, timing, temperament, intentionality all give color to speech.
Reflect
Take a moment and think of the last conversation you had.
First: Write down some qualities you recall: was it interesting, boring, engaging, was there appropriate eye contact, was it social or a serious conversation?
Second: What was the energy of the conversation? A few examples: was it funny, uplifting, depressing, angry, rushed?
Third: What was the dominate and secondary feelings that lingered once the conversation ended as you went on with the rest of your day?
If you take the time to answer these few questions it may stimulate you in such a way as to be more conscious when you engage in future conversations. A spark of interest may inspire you to review and contemplate other recent conversations.
Lastly, write your discoveries in your journal. As you take a greater interest in mastering your consciousness and developing excellent communication skills, these entries will become useful.
Under currents of energy
The role of speaking is the most recognized part of any conversation. The way a person speaks to another carries a lot of information. When the one talking is not telling it like it is, much of the information is hidden. There are a lot of reasons people are less than honest when speaking. It can be seen in their body language and felt as a conflicting vibration. I call this energy, undercurrents. The vibrations of truth flowing under the conversation. It is easy to feel the subtle energy when the mind and heart are open, uncluttered and the listener is fully engaged.
If I were to say one thing but mean something else or infer something quite different, possibly intentionally misleading someone, this undercurrent would erode my energy field and produce a lack of integrity. A breach of this sort invites unwanted energy. This includes experiences, people, and situations. The purpose of this unwanted energy is to bring attention to the lack of integrity created when not speaking the truth. I have learned this lesson. I hope you have too.
Discernment
There were times when I first started the practice of speaking a higher truth, moving through my fears that kept me from it in the first place. I was right clumsy; blurting out everything that had been held back and anything that crossed my mind. This is an example of poor communication. It’s not recommended.
A better course of action would be to write your thoughts in your journal until some level of calm, understanding and discernment has been achieved. Hurting others with sharp words or an ill-timed conversation that might cause humiliation is not the way to get your point across nor a way to master communication or build healthy relationships.
When practicing Conscious Mastery®, honest communication is vital. When it comes to communicating sensitive or heated subject matter use discretion. Think before you say something you can never take back. It is also a good idea to understand your motives and intention clearly before you begin.
Take some space and time
You may need to step away from a conversation for an hour or more if the energy is no longer grounded and the conversation has lost the ability to be productive and reasonable. Have the courage to say out load that you are leaving. If the situation warrants, let them know you are open to return later to clear things up. The person you are walking away from will not feel disrespected like they would have if you just walked away. Showing respect especially during tough times is a sign of emotional maturity and emotional intelligence. (Keep in mind you must decide if returning to a difficult conversation is wise and safe.)
Gossip
I draw a line in the sand when it comes to gossip. You know gossip is toxic. To listen to someone gossip is participating. It is poison to the energy field whether speaking or sticking around to listen. As a listener, exercise your courage. First, you could inject some balancing thoughts to steer the conversation into a direction with some heart. Second, you could ask the person talking to shift the conversation away from harmful gossip. Third, you can step away if they choose to continue to gossip. Even though it may be unpopular, let him or her know you feel uncomfortable with gossip. It is good for others to know you have healthy boundaries.
Gossip serves no good purpose. It does serve to cause harm and not just to the person being talked about. Having a heart felt conversation with intention of providing aid or seeking a solution for a friend is not what I would call gossip. Use your power of discernment and know the difference.
The Silent One
Among the people who find it easy to talk, there are those who have lost their voice. These people have adopted the idea that it is better to keep their thoughts to themselves. This may be true at times. However, to follow this rule of thumb all the time brings about confusion in relationships if a relationship can be formed at all. In some cases, isolation becomes a painful by-product.
If you notice someone in your workplace, family or social gatherings that tend to be the wall flower, bring them a little sunshine by simply asking them how they are. A little kindness goes a long way. You may be the light that makes the flower bloom.
Listening
Good communication includes being a good listener. Listening is a necessary ingredient and a good listener is a great asset to any successful conversation. For that to be the case the listener must have a clear, attentive, and open mind. Formulating responses which often leads to interrupting the one talking or daydreaming about what’s for dinner doesn’t make for a good listener or a good conversation. The listener is picking up only a fraction of what is being said.
Being a good listener takes practice. Most people do not listen with their full attention to whomever is speaking. Our attention span, as a people, has become exceedingly short. Technology has played a role in this, but let’s not place blame. If I were to blame technology instead of taking corrective action, I would be giving my personal power away to technology. My role in good communication is better served by practicing the skill of being an excellent listener and speak with kindness and respect.
Inner listening
Listening skills go beyond listening to others talk. It stretches inward to the practice of listening to intuitive prompts. When a person first becomes conscious of their inner thoughts, more often than not, they discover they are unhealthy. Many topics roll around in the mind but the inner dialogue typically swirls around the self.
Negative internal conversations spinning in your mind are harmful. They manifest a fist full of sadness and missed opportunities. The idea of being grateful may pop up now and then. That is a good start however, it is not enough to replace a constant loop of negative self-talk. A persistent practice of replacing negative self-talk with something kinder is part of creating the shift from negative talk loops to inspired thoughts. Patience is required.
When I first became aware of the many denigrating thoughts running through my mind, I was shocked. In retrospect, it is no wonder I attracted so many unwanted situations and people into my life. I had become a beacon for negative energy by attracting a match.
Negative Self-Talk Loops
Unwanted manifestations also arise when this negative type of internal dialogue is aimed at your job, other people, your partner, and so on. The target is important but more importantly is the actual content. With a mind full of nasty thoughts, the ability to attract good things into your life is extremely limited. Also, I must say, it is quite difficult to be a good listener when you are preoccupied with negative thinking. The negative loops seldom rest unless you do something about it.
Another downside to negative ruminating is that most intuitive guidance that has the power to push through heavy shadow energy to get your attention is often misinterpreted and even distorted.
Clear your mind regularly. Meditation is effective. This too, takes practice and persistence. But hey, we are here on earth to learn to be our best selves, right? Take the time to do the small steps that lead to big changes. Positive change is within everyone’s ability. Conscious communication is part of that journey.
Meditation
There are many ways one can meditate. The type of meditation is less important than the consistent and persistent effort to return each day to practice.
Keep in mind, meditating for hours is not necessary. Some of you may manage only 2-5 minutes focusing on your breath as you walk. That is fine. The main thing is to start somewhere. It will grow naturally.
Follow this link to watch a short 5 minute video on the benefits of meditation that I did a few years ago.
Follow this link to enjoy a meditation I created called Self- Acceptance. As time allows I will begin posting more videos to my channel.
Hiding Behind Social Media
We are at a time when it is essential to speak the truth, engage in respectful conversations and monitor inner dialogue so the words passing through the mind and eventually pass thy lips are kind. Refrain from criticizing others while hiding be hide the curtain of social media.
Energy flows and knows what it is and where it comes from. In essence, no one can hide from the repercussions of sending bad energy out into the world.
I want to encourage us as a united people, to consciously choose to be kind to ourselves and others. We can create a better life for ourselves and a brighter future for generations to come that are counting on us to share, care and be the love that makes the world go round.
Follow this link to the Conscious Mastery® Life course so you can understand your energy and learn how to make better decisions that are powerful and sustainable. Follow this link to the Conscious Mastery® Facilitator certification course if you are a professional or want to be a professional serving the personal development, spiritual growth, self-discovery, self-empowerment, and life coaching industries.
Love, Astara
