Random thoughts
In July of this year 2026, some random memories came to mind so I wrote them down. The two memories I am sharing had once caused me great pain and distress but now they no longer have sway over me. The lessons have been crystalized and I am better for having these experiences. I see how colorful my life has been.
Use your journal and write some of your life story down on paper. You will see how you have grown and how you might like to proceed from here on. Ultimately you too have had a most colorful life.
In the 1970’s
I remember when I waited for my mother and little sister to get off the plane that came in from Germany. I had been in a motorcycle accident while she and my sister visited her family. As soon as she saw me, my mother proceeded to cause a scene by beating me over the head with a huge bag that she had slung over her shoulder. As I cowered, she beat me across my back swinging the bag hitting me anywhere she could get it to land yelling all the while. My dad said and did nothing as we shuffled out of the airport. Humiliating! I chose to ride up to the airport with my dad because i wanted my mothers love and some tenderness.
2-3 weeks Earlier
I remember when I was picked up from the hospital after said accident. Motor cycle meets barb wire fence, I lost. My so-called boy friend, the guy I was in the accident with, did not pick me up. He went to the concert we had planned to attend together. My dad was busy golfing with his buddies.
I was discharged in the morning but my grandmother didn’t bother to pick me up until dark. I sat in the lobby of the hospital all day. She dropped me off at the driveway rather unceremoniously. I walked up to the dark empty house alone. She drove away before I even walked inside.
Sometime later
I remember when I made real money for the first time. I was young and instantly became a jerk. One day I was rude to a waitress and that was the tipping point to my bad behavior. In a surprise turnabout and tumble down, I no longer had said job and no longer had any money. The opportunity to face more of my shadow self was upon me again. After stumbling around for a beat or three trying to get on my feet, I became a waitress. The irony was not lost on me.
Interesting how life will give you what you need to learn and grow whether we like it or not. My turn in this situation was not just that I was a server but, in addition, I was faced with some very unkind patrons. Go figure right? The shoe was on the other foot and it was uncomfortable. Like stuffing my size 7 foot into a size 5 shoe. I grappled with the demons of self pity, the “why me” and all that goes with it until answers began to dawn.
I listened and learned to flow with the job, earn some money, experience nice patrons and came away from it a better person. I have never been rude to a server since that time, and I always tip very well.
Stories of our lives
II seems to me that random memories and thoughts crop up as a gift for us to realize how far we have come. If we slow down enough to take stock, to recognize what we have already overcome and see clearly that it was not the end of the world. It could likely have been an end but that end always came with a new beginning.
Life is full of twists and turns and if we take the time to ponder, honor, and even to laugh at ourselves we can see just how colorful our life has been.
Maybe your chapter is just beginning or ending or perhaps you are in the middle of a chapter. At each and every point along the way remember, we are writing our own story. Make it fun, jolly, meaningful but not always so serious.
Let us kindle the lightheartedness we were all born with and weave a whole lot of that into our current unfolding chapter.
love
Astara
